I'm still hating my life which I really wished I didn't. Sometimes, I feel so lonely and it feels as though I'm drifting away from my friends. I can't laugh and smile with them like I used to. Not caring what anyone thought about me. I was so carefree. What happened? I wasn't so paranoid about my friends hating me, but now I am. Stressing out. It really just makes me miserable. Maybe I'm being to selfish. It feels that I want to be the center of attention. I think I got too used to it. Everyone thought I was funny, I was nice, all that stuff. I'm trying too hard to please them, be nice to them and yet, it feels that they're just using me. I always feel like moving to Malaysia. Maybe I should have stayed there to study. Start a new life.
Also, I'm being so lazy in my academics. I'm not trying. I just don't know what I'm going to do in the future. I sometimes get the fear of failing. Regretting everything and wishing that I should have worked harder during high school. I keep telling myself that and yet, here I am doing nothing to change that.
You have those Jewels in your hand, but they're useless. How will it help me?
Money? Greed ruins the heart.
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
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